Communications Breakdown

Batman monster truck. Taken by Jot Powers, 1/2006.

A friend and I were talking about church stuff when he mentioned monster trucks.

My mind began to drift (I can’t help it; this is how my brain works), and I wondered, how engaging would a weekly monster truck event be if…

• …no one came out with a microphone to introduce the event or build up the energy level of the audience?
• …the same monster truck – and none other – was used each and every time?
• …the cars it crushed were never replaced with different un-crushed cars?
• …the same music was played for the fans, week after week?
• …the monster truck didn’t interact with any other vehicles in the entire arena?
• …the monster truck was simply pushed to the middle of the arena and never moved, because people found it too noisy?
• …at the end of the event you were told, “We hope you come back next week, ‘cause we’re gonna do it all over again!”?

If this was always the way at Monster Truck Church, how long would it take before people stopped coming – even the diehard fans?

How soon do you think it would be before the doors were shut and people moved on, to maybe… Motocross Church…?

Does this sound a little like your church?

Let’s say Burger King was a church, and they promoted it like so:

Have it your way.

How cool would that be? A church that’s done entirely my way.

Isn’t this how most of us want things?

My parking space, my seat, my temperature, my day of the week, my hours of operation, my type of music at my volume, my light show (or lack of), my desired set design, my version of the bible, my preferred speaking pastor, my option to give, take, serve and come and go as I please.

I imagine a church where I could have everything my way would be a very small, and very empty church, because after just one week of me doing everything by myself, I’d be ready to find another church or quit going altogether.

This is what makes working for a church tricky.

You want people to want to come and get connected. You want people to want to help people take their next step toward Jesus. You just want them to want to… and to not want everything their own way. Not because you think your way is always perfect, but because you’re trying to make sure the things you do to engage people are biblically sound and help point people to Jesus, otherwise it’s all simply a matter of personal preference. And we can’t all have that at the same time.

In John 10:10, Jesus tells the people, A thief comes only to rob, kill, and destroy. I came so that everyone would have life, and have it in its fullest. Doesn’t following someone like that sound so much better than trying to have everything my way?

I think so.

How interested would you be about a church who boasted they had…

The Real Thing.

Would you be curious to find out more?

Mmm… IHOP. Their promise:

Come hungry. Leave happy.

Would you want to attend a church with a guarantee like this?

Mars Inc’s slogan for their yummy Snickers bar used to be:

Snickers really satisfies.

Would you check out a church with this motto?

Would you attend this church?

I have a love/dislike (hate’s a strong word) thing going on with Costco. They offer some unique products and services, yet they sometimes seem to have their best interests in mind, not yours, which isn’t always so appealing.

It got me thinking… if Costco was a church, would I want to attend? Consider…

• You have to pay to get in.
• Once inside, there’s usually no one available to assist you or answer any questions you may have.
• It’s not uncommon to see large lineups of people waiting to leave, and you get funneled and crammed through like cattle.
• You have to face another line up on the way out so they can inspect you to ensure you haven’t stolen anything.

In addition to that last bullet point, they used to have a sign posted informing folks the reason they stopped you and checked your items was to make sure you received everything you paid for, so I could have added they insult your intelligence by lying to you. (I think some people were insulted, hence the removal of the sign.)

On the plus side…

• The parking spaces are nice and wide (rare these days).
• It’s spacious inside – you don’t feel cramped (until you leave).
• They usually offer things you can’t find elsewhere.
• The eats are pretty good there too. (That’s just my opinion.)

Would you want to attend a church like this?